Letter to my son

I wrote this letter to my son two weeks ago on his birthday, April 5 ...

To Connor Steven McCormick: 
My middle child would be 20 today. While I carried him inside me, his daddy picked his first name and I picked his middle name, after my mom's maiden name, Stevens. He came into our lives for a few brief moments but quickly made the journey back to his heavenly home. I had the privilege of knowing him for nine short months. I knew when he slept, when he was awake, when he had hiccups, when he was stretching, and when he turned over. Sweet baby Connor --- would you have dark hair like your big brother or red hair like your little sister? Would you have your daddy's green eyes or your mommy's blue eyes? Would you have played football? What would you have chosen to do in college? Would you have a girlfriend and would I love her also? 20 years later and the ache is present. I have two children with me but I am the mom of three. Moments in our arms, forever in our hearts. We love and miss you still………